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July 20, 2004
Vive la France
Well, I don’t want to offend them.
I’m not going to France. I have been to France before, but I am not going again. I don’t want to offend them. The French are apparently very concerned that people are being rude to them. They have posted a sign at their Consulate in New York notifying visa applicants that a French visa is not a right. They also say that if we are not polite they will ban us from all of the EU nations
(apparently they forgot to consult Austria, Belgium, Cyprus, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Poland, Portugal, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, The Netherlands, and the United Kingdom.). Of course France can’t decide who gets to go to those other countries but it apparently it matters not a whit to them.
Now it is really important that we be very nice to the French because the French are the nicest people in the world, and we can count on them for their support and we certainly don’t want to alienate them. After all Ariel Sharon is not welcome in France because he suggested that French Jews move to Israel to avoid anti-Semitic attacks. We know that this is uncalled for because France is remarkably tolerant. In fact they are so tolerant they passed a law requiring people to forgo their religious identities by removing external signs of their faith. After all no yarmulkes, no burquas, no crucifixes, makes everyone equal.
We know that France does think quite highly of Israel, well except for that remark about Israel being “Ce petit pays merdeux” [that shitty little country] by France’s ambassador Daniel Bernard. France demands that Sharon explain his call for French Jews to emigrate to avoid anti-Semitic attacks. I agree, who would want to move to a better neighborhood? Who would want to move to a place where they are not harassed and intimidated regularly?
So we all know how important France is to the world. Without France we would not have essential….., um we would be unable to ……., well we couldn’t ….., Citroen parts, that’s it we aren’t nice to France we won’t be able to get parts for our Citroens. If we don’t play nice with the staff at the French Consulate they will not give us a visa. After all a visa is not a right! Hey French Consulate staff, stick it in your ear.
That’s why I won’t be going to France.
Posted by Matthew at July 20, 2004 09:27 AM
Comments
Yeah, and that pesky support during the Revolutionary War. The Gaul of them.
Posted by: Robert at July 20, 2004 05:33 PM